What does it look like to be a faithful husband, a devoted father, and a man or woman who walks with God? Through the life of Joseph – the quiet, obedient guardian of the Lord Jesus – the qualities that make for a strong marriage and a godly family come sharply into focus. Righteousness, graciousness, self-control, obedience, a heart in touch with God, a willingness to work and provide, and a genuine love for children – these are the biblical building blocks that stand in stark contrast to the selfishness and confusion the world offers. Whether you are married, preparing for marriage, or simply wanting to understand what God says about the family, this message brings both challenge and encouragement from the Word of God.
The world’s ideals and the Bible’s ideals are, more often than not, running in opposite directions. When the apostles were accused of turning the world upside down, the truth was that the world was already upside down and they were trying to turn it right side up again. This inversion touches every part of life, but perhaps nowhere more acutely than in the arena of marriage, family, and what it means to be a man or a woman. The confusion is real. Former Deputy Prime Minister John Anderson recounted meeting a young man who outwardly seemed to represent the best of Australian manhood – and yet that same young man was at the point of tears, confessing that he did not know what it meant to be a man. The answer, though, is not obscure. It is found in the pages of Scripture, and one of its clearest portraits is the life of Joseph, the guardian of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Joseph, introduced in Matthew chapter 1, was a just man – a righteous man. That word carries weight. First John 2:29 connects righteousness with being born of God, and so the foundation of everything Joseph was as a husband and future father rested on his standing before God. The same is true for anyone who would seek to build a marriage or a family: the starting point is the imputed righteousness of Christ, not self-sufficiency. Without that, the whole enterprise rests on sand. Mary, too, needed the same grace – her own words in Luke 1:46-47 acknowledging God as her Saviour make that plain. Both husband and wife must begin with a right relationship with God.
Beyond righteousness, Joseph was a discreet, kind, and loving man. When he believed Mary had been unfaithful – before the angel’s visit explained the truth – his response was not to publicly shame her or seek revenge. He was minded to put her away quietly. Consider what that restraint cost him: the confusion, the hurt, the sense of betrayal. And yet his instinct was grace, not vengeance. This stands in sharp contrast to the modern impulse to broadcast every grievance on social media. The love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 – love that suffers long, is kind, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil – is the kind of love required for a marriage to flourish. Without it, couples may coexist, but it will not be a happy coexistence. The practical question is pointed: do you seek the highest good for your spouse? Forgiveness, too, is essential. An unwillingness to forgive bars the way to the future. Sometimes something from years ago needs to be laid to rest with a simple, genuine declaration: I forgive you.
Joseph was also a temperate, self-controlled man. Matthew 1:25 records that he knew Mary not until she had brought forth her firstborn son. He married her, but the consummation was postponed for many long months while she carried and delivered the Son of God. That is a sacrifice that runs counter to every modern instinct of entitlement and self-gratification. Selfishness, in fact, is identified as perhaps the greatest poison a person can bring into a marriage. The more you try to get for yourself while being inconsiderate of your spouse, the less you will receive and the more miserable the marriage will become. The pattern God blesses is mutual giving – each spouse seeking to understand and meet the other’s needs. When that understanding breaks down, the consequences can be devastating. A husband who is consumed by work and neglects his wife’s emotional needs, or a wife who verbally tears down her husband, both create vulnerabilities that the enemy is only too eager to exploit.
Purity before marriage is a critical foundation. Young men who will one day be husbands and fathers need to examine where they stand on this matter now. The very thing being pursued to satisfy a drive outside of God’s design is the thing preventing its fulfilment in God’s way. And young women who aspire to be godly wives and mothers are called to reject the immodest pop culture and vile social media environment, choosing instead to honour the purity of the marriage they hope to build.
Joseph was a man in touch with God. God spoke to him repeatedly – in dreams, through the angel – giving him direction for the family. This is significant: God directed Joseph because the husband is the head of the wife, as Ephesians 5:23 teaches. To be a good husband requires being in touch with God, because being a husband means being a leader. And leadership is not passive. Too many men are happy to let their wife function as their mother, managing every spiritual and practical decision. A husband should already have it in his heart to lead his family to church, to get a job, to read the Word of God, to pray, to lead family devotions. Equally, a wife’s walk with God is vital. Proverbs 14:1 warns that a foolish woman plucks her house down with her hands. A mother’s influence on her children is immense – perhaps even greater than the father’s in sheer time spent. The training of children in godliness is a sacred responsibility, and the hand that rocks the cradle truly does shape the world.
Obedience is woven through Joseph’s story. When God spoke, Joseph obeyed – promptly and without recorded complaint. Jesus said in John 14:15, if you love me, keep my commandments. A person who struggles to submit to God’s authority will struggle to function within God’s design for marriage. A wife who will not submit to her husband has, at root, a submission issue with God himself. And a husband who refuses to take on the responsibility of headship is equally out of step. The marriage with two heads is, as bluntly stated, a freak – producing the kind of household that neighbours recognise as a place of constant conflict. The pattern set in the family home before marriage tends to carry forward: daughters who fight against their father’s authority will fight against their husband’s authority.
Joseph was a protective man. When Herod threatened the life of the child Jesus, God warned Joseph in a dream and he fled with his family to Egypt by night. Here was a peasant with carpentry tools, fleeing from a paranoid king with armed soldiers – and yet the family was untouchable because of the hand of God. Protection of a family begins with being in touch with God. Fathers must not be disengaged. They need to know where their children are, what they are reading, who they are associating with, and what influences are reaching them through technology. The dangers of phones, the internet, and social media to young people are now being recognised even by non-Christians. Strong, engaged fathers are a deterrent to the predators of this world, and one convicted offender in the United States openly confessed that he targeted children whose fathers were absent or weak.
Joseph was a working man. As a carpenter, he had a large family to support – the Lord Jesus plus at least six of his own children. The duty of provision falls squarely on the man. First Timothy 5:8 is unambiguous: if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. Young men preparing for marriage need to take this seriously. Financial preparation – getting a job, saving for a house deposit, learning to steward money wisely rather than spending it all on cars and lifestyle – is part of preparing to be a husband. The displacement of self is a hallmark of genuine manhood. First Corinthians 13:11 speaks of putting away childish things, and the practical outworking of that is the willingness to do what needs to be done rather than only what one feels like doing.
Joseph was a family man. God wants families. Psalm 127:3-5 calls children a heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb his reward, likening them to arrows in the hand of a mighty man. Happy is the man whose quiver is full. Malachi 2:15-16 reveals that one of God’s purposes in the one-flesh union is a godly seed – godly offspring. The declining Australian birth rate, well below the replacement level since 1976, reflects a society that has turned God’s design upside down, treating children as a burden rather than a blessing. Yet even outside the church, some are discovering the joy and fulfilment that a large family brings. Loneliness, meanwhile, is epidemic in a hyper-connected world, and some mental health struggles are resolved not by medication alone but by the restoration of genuine human relationships and family connection. Community, family, and the local church once absorbed many of the problems that now fall overwhelmed upon government services.
Joseph was, above all, a faithful man. Proverbs 20:6 asks the searching question: a faithful man, who can find? In the entirety of Scripture, not one of Joseph’s words is recorded. We see his inner character and his actions, but he is never in the spotlight. He simply, humbly, faithfully does the next thing God sets before him. Take Mary as your wife – done. Flee to Egypt – done. Return to Israel – done. Marriage requires exactly this kind of quiet, sustained faithfulness to God and to one another, day after day. Without submitting to the king of love – to Christ himself – the toxicity and misery that sin brings into a marriage cannot be resolved. No amount of worldly philosophy, whether feminism or chauvinism or any other ideology, can fix what only humble submission to God can heal. What is needed, in the end, is faithful men and faithful women who will let the king of love come in and reshape everything according to his Word.
Sermon Audio Id: 382682461635